Lets talk body image. A survey in 2016 found that in the UK, only 20% of women questioned considered themselves body confident. That’s 80% of women that said they do not have body confidence. That statistic is shocking, but unfortunately very, very real.
I’ve definitely had my fair share of struggles with body image – in fact, it’s an ongoing daily battle. Unfortunately, however, I think most women would say the same. In today’s society, it’s almost frowned upon to actually be happy and confident within yourself – and that is the focus of my blog post today.
How do I feel about selfies?
I don’t want my blog to just be reviews of makeup products. I want you to know the girl behind the blog and know that I too, just like you, have my issues. I have days where I think I look so hideous I don’t want to leave the house, yet here I am putting my face on the internet as a ‘beauty blogger‘. Pah! Almost hypocritical, right? Little old ugly me, who would care about what I put on my face?! Well,people seem to enjoy my blog posts. And actually, blogging has probably helped me in my quest to learn to love myself for who I am and stop comparing myself to the likes of Kendall Jenner and Bella Hadid.
I’m overly critical of photos of myself, but I’ve definitely improved over age. I’ve learnt my best angles, the power of good lighting, and more importantly – I try to let my personality shine through. I found the photos I felt confident about were ones where I was smiling, happy, laughing with friends or sharing a moment or memory. A few years ago, if there was a photo of me and a friend I would be obsessively looking at myself in the photo – do I look skinny enough? Pretty enough? Are my legs larger than my friends? Now, I barely even look at these things – I just see joy from standing next to my bestie all dolled up. I see the image for what it is as opposed to picking out flaws about myself when at the end of the day, theres nothing I can do about it now, so I might as well just love the photo! That said, I haven’t fully mastered this and it is still a work in progress. But I want to show you: it can be done.
Why is loving yourself seen as a bad thing? If I put on a cute little black dress and some heels, and have a dance and pose with my friends, why is that frowned upon? If you post a selfie on social media nowadays, someone’s bound to be thinking ‘oh look at her, she loves herself!’ or ‘ew her makeup is horrible – why is she posting that?’. I’ve read tons of comments on random women’s instagram pages of other women absolutely slating them for posting a selfie. Yes, they’re probably just jealous that you have the confidence to do so and they do not, but why spread such negativity? How have we got to the point that women slating other women (or anyone, for that matter) is the norm? If a girl feels sassy and sexy, let her post that photo. There should be no shame in saying ‘I look great today!’.
Battling Beauty Standards
Selfies are empowering. Who cares if it took you one take or fifty seven takes – you’ll find a selfie you’re happy with and then you’ll upload it for all your family and friends to see. Your smile (or pout!) beams across the screen and in that one little image, you’re showing everyone: Hey, look at me! I’m doing okay! I got out of bed today! Look at me, adulting! My hair is a bit messy and I have a spot on my chin but you know what, here’s my face for you all to see!
There is something so strong and powerful in hitting that little upload button. You’re showing the world your face and saying: hi, this is me, and I’m awesome and beautiful and proud to be me. You probably don’t look like Mila Kunis or the girls in the magazines. You probably don’t conform to the beauty standards being shoved down our throats on a daily basis. You are challenging these beauty standards and showing the world what ‘normal’ ACTUALLY means. Your average woman is NOT a supermodel. Your average woman is beautiful inside and out, just the way you are.
Learn to love yourself
I’m trying to accept myself for who I am. For a while, I stopped taking and posting photos that showed my body, because I was unhappy that I’ve put weight on over the past couple of years. Now? I dress to my size and shape (which actually flatters my body much more than before!) and I take any photos I want. I upload them thinking ‘hey, this might not be the #bodygoals in the magazines, but this is me, I’m smiling, I’m happy, I love my curves and my face and I want to share this memory!’.
In uploading selfies and getting the occasional compliment and a few likes, I’ve massively upped my self esteem. Hey! People like my fake eyelashes! They like my makeup! Oh look – she said my skin is flawless! She doesn’t care about the weird mole on my neck! I’m learning to love myself. I’m learning that my face will never look like the girls in the magazines because – newsflash – my DNA is unique to ME. Why fester in negativity instead of appreciating individual beauty?
Your DNA is unique to YOU. Pick out the features that make you unique and learn to love them.
My task to you is to take more selfies. Stop worrying about if your makeup is good enough or if your double chin is hidden or does my bum look big in this? You are beautiful, and the whole world deserves to see that. You are unique and I promise you – next time you fancy uploading a selfie, please, do it without hesitation because you are amazing and it will make you feel amazing, too.
You are beautiful.