AD – This post is a paid partnership with Gamer Dates. Please see my Disclosure page for more details.
Fun fact that you probably didn’t know about me: I used to be a hardcore Minecraft gamer! I unfortunately lost years of my hard work when my laptop died, but I had red stone circuits, a spider spawn trap, and caves for days. In fact, one of the things that my now fiancé and I bonded over when we first met was our mutual appreciation for gaming – he was into his Xbox and Playstation, and I was into Minecraft, Sims and Theme Hospital. We’d be up until the early hours of the morning texting whilst gaming, and for me, it was nice to meet someone who understood my Minecraft obsession, rather than me being embarrassed or feeling ashamed of my hobby. There’s definitely both pros and cons of dating a gamer, but whether you’re a gamer or not, here’s my top tips to survive dating a gamer!
Everyone is allowed a hobby – it’s actually extremely healthy to have a hobby and is a great way to relax and feel happier. If you’re not a gamer yourself, you might find it annoying that your partner always wants to game, but when you’re dating a gamer you need to accept that gaming is their hobby, and is therefore going to be their go to when they need to chill, relax, or have fun.
When I asked my Instagram followers for THEIR top tip to survive dating a gamer, so many people said the same thing: get involved and join in! You might even end up enjoying it, and it’s much easier than having to feign interest in something. If you’re already a gamer, or if you actually met on a gaming dating app, then I’m sure you already love to get involved and game alongside your partner, but you could always try their favourite game, or a game that allows you to play together.
The other side of the scale, if you don’t want to get involved – leave them to it! One of the perks of dating a gamer is definitely that this means you get time to do whatever you want to do, too – it’s a win-win for both of you. Plus, you can still be sat next to or near each other to be in each other’s physical company and presence.
Having a schedule has been paramount for my partner and I to have a healthy relationship – it allows us to balance work, family and hobbies. My partner has dedicated gaming nights, which also allow me the opportunity to dedicate time to my own hobbies and avoids us getting stuck in a rut of continuous gaming, or allowing the gaming to become addictive.
I also definitely recommend scheduling in a regular date night that is a gaming free zone – whether you met on a night out, at work, on a gamer dating app or just by chance – you need to keep that spark alight! If it’s been a while since your first date, don’t fret – a date night doesn’t have to be fancy, just put your phones and the controllers away and enjoy each other’s chat and company. Hey, you could even get super fancy and light some candles whilst you’re at it, too!
Sometimes, when my partner is gaming, I’ll bring him a surprise treat – a cup of tea, some chocolate, or if he’s REALLY lucky – a fresh homemade cookie! If you want to truly surprise them, why not get them something useful for their gaming, like some gaming accessories for PC gamers? This is a great way to show your special someone that you are still thinking of them.
It’s easy to get carried away and lose track of time when you’re gaming, so more often than not your partner might not realise that 3 hours have gone past without so much as a hello to you. Sometimes, this can be frustrating – especially if you’re craving affection from your partner. As in any healthy relationship, it’s important to communicate with your partner – they can’t read your mind, after all! Try talking to them calmly, or if you can’t verbally communicate, then grace them with your presence! My partner knows that if I’m hanging around in his study, it’s normally because I want to have a chat or have some attention.
Being more of a solo gamer myself, this one has caught me out many a time – I often walk into the room my partner is in, start chatting away, and forget that his microphone is turned in. This either ends up in me divulging far too much information to his friends in his party, or him rushing to switch off the microphone in a huff that he dies and I get the blame… so just remember. Microphone is most probably on, and their mates don’t want to hear about your dodgy toenail.
Now that I’m a mum, I don’t get much time for games, but I did manage to complete Pokemon on the Nintendo Switch and like to pop onto Animal Crossing to pick my weeds every now and then… But anyway, I wouldn’t consider myself a ‘gamer’ now, as an adult. Meghan Walsh, host of the Navigating The Motherhood podcast, on the other hand, does consider herself the gamer in her relationship. It might be easy to think of gaming as annoying, or just a bit of fun, but from her point of view, we can see that there might be a lot more to the relax of gaming than we think. Here’s what she had to say:
“As someone who has anxiety, and as a mum, my head is always full of stuff: the next thing to do, routines, keeping on top of everything. The thing with gaming is that it’s constant, you can fidget with your hands and your brain can’t wander. It’s one of the few activities in life where you are fully focused, so for me, it’s a great wind down.”
These last few ‘tips’ were all kindly offered to me by my lovely Instagram followers… I’m warning you though: it’s probably best NOT to follow through with any of these – else it will probably mean that you won’t be dating a gamer for very long!